My son has been writing stories again and it always makes me want to pick up the virtual pen, too. But my creativity is all spent. Half of me wants to take my son’s stories and make them my own so I don’t actually have to create a plot myself. I’ve always been terrible at plot. Journalling is what I’m best at.
I think I’ll always be a writer, but I don’t know if actually becoming a published writer has ever been the end-goal.
Filed under Creative Writing
Just trying to get into the heads of my characters for a remix of my TOTC story. I call it a remix because I’m going toward realistic fiction instead of a fantasy/fairy tale type story. It’ll be renamed eventually, but for now it’s TOTC Remix. And it’ll be written in 3rd person omniscient, in vignettes focusing on each of the girls.
Megala
Amma had to get some special ingredients for dinner tonight from Desi Foods, the store in our neighborhood that carries Indian food. As we were driving home, I couldn’t get enough of all the Christmas lights in our neighborhood. They look so pretty in the darkness in winter and they make my heart happy every time I see them. In America, they start putting up Christmas lights after Thanksgiving, which is almost the same time as Diwali (Deepavali).
I don’t know much about Christmas. My friend Josie at school told me about it. She says there’s gifts and candy and a big dinner. And there are lots of Christmas decorations all month long! She says they also have to go to a church service on Christmas Eve with candles and singing. That doesn’t sound so bad to me, but Josie hates it. She said they usually have food at a restaurant afterward. Then on Christmas morning they open presents! Josie says she wants a parakeet for Christmas like my Kili.
In my home in India, we only celebrated Diwali for one day. Other parts of India celebrate it for longer. But we are not so traditional. We put out Diwali lamps. [There should be more here, but I ran into a mental block.
Lea
It’s Saturday. Dad locked himself in his office as usual to get some work done. Luke is feeling a little under the weather. No fever, just fatigue and sniffles. I gave him some vitamin C and a box of tissue and a logic puzzles book to keep him occupied while I got some work done around the house.
Of course, Luke was bored of the book after 15 minutes, so he came back to me. “Will you play a game with me?” he asked. I told him I had to take care of the dishes. He sighed and picked up a drying towel. I felt that pinch in my heart as I thought of this little 7-year-old willingly (however reluctantly) helping with the dishes. He’s a good kid.
We finished up the last of the dishes and the first thing he said was, “Now can we play a game?” I looked at him for a second as I dried my hands one last time. “I have a better idea,” I said. “Let’s get out the Christmas decorations.”
His eyes lit up so fast. “YESSS!!” And he shot off toward the garage. I couldn’t help but smile as I followed him. Christmas is the one time of year our home really does have some light and joy. Maybe it’s because Dad gets his bonus, but he’s always in a better mood at Christmas.
Rosalind
Every year around October, my mother suddenly remembers local craft fairs. I think she goes thinking she wants to buy Christmas gifts from there and support local artists, but usually she just ends up making whatever she sees there. I’m not sure which is actually more economical–getting the crafts at the fair, or buying a bunch of supplies to make them with! But she does have a huge store of craft supplies in her little attic space and swaps stuff in and out a lot.
One of these days I need to buy her some kind of organization system for all her crafting things. Right now they’re just all dumped into bins and she has to dig through them to find what she’s looking for. Although there was that one time I tried to organize the pantry for her and she got mad at me. “Now I can’t find anything!” But it would seriously change her life if she’d let me organize her stuff!
Katharine
The winter assembly is finally over. It went fine, thankfully, but I don’t think I sat down once the entire hour! Chanel’s decorations were great, as always. Jamie’s skit was hilarious. He really has a gift for making people laugh. I think we did a good job picking teachers to join us this year; Mr. Henson and Mrs. Ryan played well off each other and the school loved it. Clay was his usual suave self. I’m pretty sure he just likes to have everyone looking at him and hanging on his every word. But at least he didn’t forget to mention the food drive. He did botch up the numbers at first. I smirked at Sarah, our treasurer, and she rolled her eyes with a little smile underneath.
We collected more food than last year. Every homeroom donated something. Clay’s and my parents will take it to the food pantry tomorrow morning, but for all intents and purposes, it is officially Christmas break. Two whole weeks without meetings or responsibilities or classes or anything!
Tomorrow night Chanel is coming over and we’re going to have our annual Christmas movie night. I can’t wait. Fuzzy blankets, warm drinks, best friends, staying up late. It’s the best way to start Christmas break.
Filed under Character Development, Creative Writing, Fiction
Filed under Creative Writing
My face is broadly oval,
My eyes are big and round.
My eyebrows have no arch;
I’m average all around.
My eyes, at least, are blue;
My hair, at least, is long;
My skin is creamy peach;
Not everything is wrong.
My nails are not slender,
My feet are “extra wide;”
My nose, the chief offender,
Is bulbous from all sides.
My lashes, though, are long;
My cheeks hold rosy hues.
My toes slant gently down–
One trait I’ll never lose.
While lots is “wrong”
I’ve got some “rights”–
So says the world today.
But regardless,
I am loved,
And that’s how it’ll stay.
(c) Stephanie E
I wrote this poem in high school or college, and edited it in adulthood.
Filed under Creative Writing
How do you enjoy July and August? I enjoy May, when there’s lovely weather and flowers, and things are still green. And June isn’t too hot, either, and has yummy berries to pick (although allergies are a challenge!!). But July and August are hot and all the grass is dead and wildfire smoke makes the sky hazy and the sunlight red-tinged and the days are getting shorter. The evenings are lovely and the sunsets are breathtaking. But what do you do to pass the days?
Filed under Creative Writing
It’s the end of the school year. For families who send their kids to school, this means sudden panic about how you’re going to entertain your kids all summer long. For homeschooling families, it’s time to think about and plan for next year. Or maybe even the year after that! I’ve got things lined up for my two sons this next year, but since the planning part is way more fun than the actual doing the work, and because I have somewhat of an idea what I’m doing now (??), I’m thinking about next next year!
The biggest motivator for me to think about this now is that for Big Bub’s 2nd-ish/3rd-ish grade year (which we just finished), I didn’t have a plan. And, well, things fell apart. I’m not sure what he learned this year. But I don’t want the same thing to happen to Little Munch’s 2nd grade year.
However, things are getting blurrier as they get older! Because, well, in homeschool your kids might be, say, 2nd grade level math, but only kindergarten level reading (that’s Little Munch). Or 4th grade level reading with only 1st/2nd grade level math (that’s Big Bub). So I think about Little Munch being a 2nd grader and I’m like… What will that even look like for him??
At any rate, I have at least accumulated a small stash of curriculum to sort through and consider. And that’s why I’m here… To type out my thoughts about the various curricula we have tried so far. And hopefully get a clearer picture of where Little Munch will fit in.
Heart of Dakota – Little Hearts For His Glory
What’s good about it?
Includes art, music, hands-on activities
Flexible
Love the CD (Steve Green)
What was a struggle?
A lot of subjects to cover
History was a bit much for the age
I didn’t really like the songs for geography, etc
Expensive
MFW Adventures in US History
What’s good about it?
Bible and history scripted were great.
I liked the read-alouds a lot.
My son enjoyed the State pages.
What was a struggle?
History was a bit much
Science didn’t seem adequate
Expensive
All About Reading – Level 1
What’s good about it?
Hands-on
Love the letter tiles
Complete set
Scripted
What was a struggle?
So expensive for just one subject! So many parts/pieces/elements.
The Good And the Beautiful – LA K
What’s good about it?
Pretty
Scripted
Covers all subjects within LA
Art study
What was a struggle?
So scattered! Lessons jumped around.
Didn’t revisit/review much
Definitely advanced!
Easy-Peasy All-in-One-Homeschool
What’s good about it?
Every subject covered
Free
Involves computer games
What was a struggle?
The layout of the website–having to scroll waaaay down as we got into later and later lessons. (Kind of like this blog.)
The phonics didn’t impress me. They seemed like they would be better done with actual books.
The math games were kind of repetitive.
Having to click here, there, and everywhere.
Further Thoughts…
What were my biggest struggles with homeschooling this year?
Big Bub –
Okay, I taught him to read and do basic math… Now what?!
Trying to teach him more advanced math (adding double digits, carrying, subtraction, etc) is super challenging. The numbers get tangled up in his head and it confuses him.
Figuring out how to motivate him to memorize math facts.
A.D.H.D.
Gets really lonely.
He does not have a very good attitude about schoolwork. Perhaps I’ve spoiled him a bit.
Little Munch –
So preoccupied with Big Bub’s school that Little Munch kind of just took a back shelf. 😦
Big Bub demands A LOT of attention even outside of schooling.
OBSESSED WITH TV. (Heaven help me!!)
Isn’t catching on to phonics as quickly as Big Bub.
Would rather spend his days climbing, running, doing gymnastics, or making “transforming” vehicles and pretend-playing with them. Complete with sound effects.
VERY limited self-reflection skills. (Is that normal?) Doesn’t communicate wants/needs well.
Really, really struggles with occupying himself.
[Aside: One of the things I’m slowly releasing my death grip on is this hairbrained idea that I cannot, under any circumstance, use a rewards system with my children. Do not even ask. Oy.]
What went well this year?
Big Bub has slowly started getting in to reading JUST FOR THE SAKE OF READING. Trumpets, everyone! Banners! Confetti! Hallelujah, praise the Lord.
Little Munch is definitely interested in learning phonics. Unlike Big Bub, he clearly needs to practice some every day or else it doesn’t stick. BB automatically started reading e-ver-y-thing in sight when he “cracked the code” (much like his mother). LM is still transforming vehicles. With sound effects. No words necessary.
LM clearly wants more structure. This is a good thing.
LM has started making friends at the park. Oh my goodness, let the praises ring. There isn’t anything more beautiful than seeing him run off with some other 5- or 6-year-old at the playground just as if they’d been friends forever.
Getting out and doing social things is still very important for them. My little social butterflies.
Filed under Creative Writing
I get up before the boys. Make a lovely, hot, filling breakfast. They eat nicely. I finish first and read devotions to them.
After devotions, we sing a couple songs and learn piano.
After piano, big brother writes while I practice phonics with little brother.
Then we go outside and do nature journals. The boys ask me all about the world without prompting and I teach them about God’s glory in his creation.
Then we come back inside and I set out an art project for them so they can create while I read history. We watch a video about history or geography and talk about it.
Then big brother reads a science text of some sort and we do a short experiment outside.
After that, we bake and I teach them about fractions.
We enjoy a snack while I read poetry. They each copy a phrase or stanza.
Then they play nicely or jump on the trampoline while I make lunch. And it’s chicken salad or something healthy and colorful and delicious and grown up.
They get 15 more minutes of play time, then we sit down and recite math facts and I teach them a new math lesson. We use the abacus and colorful counters.
Then it’s quiet reading time and they fall asleep with a good book.
After a short nap, they clean up and help with dinner prep. They eat what I give them and we all enjoy a nice dessert.
After dinner, Daddy plays with them and engages with them and I prepare tomorrow’s plans or finish a chore.
They take super quick showers and then get into freshly washed PJs. We do our family devotions and sing together. They brush their teeth and head for their room, cleaning up any left out clothes or toys. Finally, we both tuck them in with hugs and kisses. They chat a little with each other, but are asleep within 10 minutes.
……………………………………………
Has this EVER been a reality for me? Not even close.
So why am I writing this down? I guess for clarity. Also acknowledgment.
Filed under Creative Writing
Sweet perfumes of striped rose mingle with honeysuckle wafting by. Green vines climb and stretch up to a hazy sky. A lean and hungry yellowjacket wobbles by: “Thirsty…thirsty…thirsty…”
The sun-parched grass crunches underfoot. Apple trees curl their leaves: “Hold steady.” They drive their energy down into the growing fruit. The red-gold of the sunset melts everything into a golden hue. The sky dazzles the one lucky enough to catch a glimpse.
I follow the last rays as they bounce behind a cloud and suddenly see the sky’s tell: gray streaks against pink, a great mass of gray above. Not just beautifying elements, but a warning. As the last sunglow disappears, a subtle flash in darkening skies. Creation holds its breath.
Filed under Creative Writing
What a lot you have been through–scars inside and out. It breaks my heart. I can tell you are searching for answers to your pain–and people as you know them have failed you over and over again, particularly people who profess to be Christians, which is devastating and is terribly tragic. And that is a LOT to carry if you have no other hope. Your pain has touched my heart and I want you to know you are in my prayers. I am also compelled to try and give you a glimmer of true hope–hope above what you have suffered from broken, wicked people. May the Lord add his blessing to it.
I’m not known for being concise when speaking from my heart, so I will give you the TL;DR version right now and you can read the rest below that.
Bottom line: Our Creator God is wholly good. His created people became and are wholly bad. Christ died so our sins could be forgiven and was raised so our hearts could change in order for us to be good again. But you have to believe in Christ and trust in his death and resurrection for that change to take effect. And it is not an instantaneous change. It happens gradually over a lifetime of faith and trust in Christ.
So here’s the longer version:
Christianity is a story. And it is not a story primarily about people, although people are in it. It’s a story about a good Creator made of perfect love, justice, mercy–the one and ONLY source of perfect love, justice, and mercy.
This Creator God, decided, for his own reasons, to make human beings, in his image. He originally made them good, sinless. He put them in a perfectly good, perfectly functioning, unstained world. Then God’s enemy, Satan, slithered in and tempted the first created humans to become their own god and reject the authority of the God who created them. Unfortunately, they listened. They fell. They sinned. And with sin, the whole world broke, every cell, every cycle, every instinct became corrupted. But where this is especially noticeable was in people’s hearts. They could not be good and sinless anymore. The thoughts of their hearts were “only evil all the time.” (Genesis 6:5)
And that is the human part of the story that has perpetuated from that day onward. Humans continue to reject God and attempt to be their own god instead, over and over again. Humans screwed up BAD and continue to screw up bad, because their sinful hearts rebel against their good Creator. They are without hope unless their hearts become completely changed.
So that’s the bad news. The good news is, there is a way for their hearts to become completely changed. But it can ONLY be done by the very One who created them.
I said earlier that God is just and merciful at the same time. He is just in that he will not let sin go unpunished. He is merciful in that he created a way for the punishment to not land on the shoulders of the ones who deserve it. (Us.) And he is also merciful in that he would not set that punishment on anyone’s shoulders….but His Own.
So he sent his Son down, Jesus. It is also true to say he came down himself, because Jesus is one with God (which is confusing, and I grant that, but that’s a conversation for another time 🙂 ). While on earth, he took on our flesh and its stresses and limitations. He taught what God expects and requires of us, and tells us that our only hope is in himself. He lived a sinless life. He died a brutal, criminal’s death at the hands of unrepentant, wicked people. But in that death, he received on his shoulders ALL the punishment that WE deserve for our rejection of God. He was raised back to life, breaking the power of sin and death that has chained us and our world since the day Adam and Eve sinned. The power that raised him up from the dead, raises our souls from their own death, changing our hearts and enabling us to love and pursue God, and redeeming the wickedness in our own hearts as well as the wickedness that has been done to us.
Filed under Creative Writing
Notes for my doctor.
What makes you think you have ADHD?
Side note: I am typing this because it is easier for me to focus when I am typing. If I am handwriting things, my mind drifts easily.
What brought me here was my struggle with homeschooling. And also housekeeping.
In school, I did great, because somebody else created structure for me. But once I graduated, I really floundered. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Then, when I had kids (one who in all likelihood has ADHD), it became really clear to me that I REALLY lack self-discipline and have a hard time creating structure. But I know it’s something that would benefit all of us.
Full disclosure: Part of the problem is also that I have pretty bad anxiety about fighting or forcing my kids to do their schoolwork. (Side note: Growing up, I had pretty bad anxiety about failing to do my schoolwork.)
When I think about cleaning the house, I instantly get overwhelmed. I feel stalled by not knowing where to start first. I have trouble even with “Just start somewhere.” Then, when I DO pick one area and start picking up the mess, I struggle to prioritize and keep more than one thing in my head at a time (Example: I have one of the boys’ shirts, a helmet, and a dirty mug to clear off our sofa table. Three different areas of the house and I get completely stalled as to what to do first. Once I DO decide where to go first, I get distracted or overwhelmed along the way by other things that need putting away.)
I also get overwhelmed when there are random things that don’t have specific places to go. That drives me CRAZY. Example: “Where do I put chip clips? I don’t have a drawer section for that!” And I get so frustrated I just leave it there on the counter.
Decision-making has always been extremely difficult for me, especially when it’s a weighty decision. Writing a research paper where I had to argue a particular point, after researching and evaluating evidence for the opposite point, was my worst nightmare! I nearly failed that class. I passed it by writing an extra-credit poem about how I couldn’t decide on a side.
But when there’s an emergency situation, I make decisions and act pretty quickly. But if there is uncertainty as to what to do, I get stuck.
On that note, I also procrastinate and always have. It was easier to do things the night before when it was urgent. That was some serious motivation!
Speaking of, I get into these flurries where I suddenly all about one thing. On a small scale, I go down rabbit holes of research on random topics that pique my interest, like a specific poet or the Revolutionary War. On a slightly bigger scale, I’ve gone through a lot of “phases” in my marriage as far as what to spend money on and I stay there for a couple months at a time. First it’s makeup. Then it’s clothes. Then it’s home décor. I also change my mind constantly within those categories—first I’m looking at rugs, then I’m looking at couches, then I’m looking at wall art. Those mini-phases last a couple weeks.
Probably goes without saying, but I research stuff like crazy, but never actually make the decision because “there are too many good options out there! And what if I change my mind next month?”
Decision-making is easiest for me in the moment.
Speaking of money, I am constantly fighting urges to spend money. Small amounts of money (less than $20), because I’m scared to death of bankrupting us by stacking up big purchases. I am usually successful in restraining myself, but it is HARD. And also, I HATE waiting for the price to go down because then “What if it’s not in stock anymore?!”
Things that I am good at focusing on: anxiety-driven things. I am good at focusing on whether my children are safe, or whether they are emotionally secure, because I have a lot of anxiety about their safety and emotional security. I am good at doing what people expect of me because I have anxiety about their views of me (or losing my job, getting bad grades, etc).
Times I am always losing focus: Driving in a car by myself. Anytime I have free time. Anytime I have “loose” expectations but no concrete or immediate consequence if they don’t happen (like picking up after myself).
Things that motivate me: Routine. Habit. Accountability. Rewards.
I don’t want to be fear-driven all the time—I hate it—but I sure do want to be able to focus and keep this house running! We neeeeeeeeeeed structure. So bad.
Also, I hate feeling like I am a child that needs corralling. Ugh. I want to be disciplined so bad and it is SO STINKING HARD!
Filed under Creative Writing
Chez Lavande 