Marriage teaches you to love making your spouse laugh more than you love your own idea of what’s funny. It also teaches you to love the person you’re with more than the imaginary one from the “list” you made 10 years ago.
Marriage also teaches you that the God who brought you to it will bring you through it. God’s sovereignty reigns over our brokenness. When God compels you toward a person in such a way that there is no question that it is God’s hand directing you, that same God continues to do so even in marriage. I have been astonished at how my husband and I, when we do fight, are both ultimately so compelled back toward each other in repentance and forgiveness. There is an inexpressible beauty in it. I say inexpressible, because it is something that is clearly of God.
Sometimes my husband and I, when we’re feeling supremely happy and loved by each other, will say to each other, “Why do you love me so much?” The funny thing is, we both know there isn’t a right answer to that. It’s not even the right question. Those times, when we’re feeling so loved in our relationship that we can’t even express it, that love isn’t coming from each other. It’s coming from the God who put it in our hearts when we first turned to Him, and it’s flowing out through us.
I think it must be what is meant by “agape.”